Two years ago when I suffered the first loss of three that would occur over the next 7 months, I was told more than once that I was strong and God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle.  I grew up with this saying and I know many of you are familiar with it as well. The Bible does not tell us that God will never give us more than we can handle. In 1 Corinthians 10, it does tell us we will not be tempted beyond what we can handle and God will provide the way of escape, that we may endure it.  The Apostle Paul is talking about temptation, not suffering but even in this, he is saying that God will provide the way of escape so it still isn’t something we can handle on our own.  I was guilty myself of saying this for many years but what I have learned and I what I tell people now is this,

I am not strong, I just serve a God who is.

God will absolutely give me more than I can handle but He will never give me more than He can handle.

If we could handle it all, why would we need God? He allows more than we can handle so that we will rely on Christ!  Just like Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

A year before my losses started I had been going on long walks every day talking to the Lord.  At that point, I felt like I had more than I could handle with my oldest daughter leaving for college and my daddy (who is one of those three losses) had just been diagnosed with a very rare cancer.  I had another storm brewing besides these as well. The only way I could deal with any of it was to walk and talk with the Lord.  I go in greater detail about this in The First Walk which is my very first blog post.

I had been far away in my relationship with Him and through walking and talking my faith grew.  I began to lean on Him in a new way that I never had before.  As I look back now, He was preparing me for what was ahead. What I thought was more than I could handle then, turned me back to my loving Father who picked me back up and set me back on the right course. Losing three of the most important people in my life in such a short time was unbearable on my own but had I not grown in my relationship with the Lord, had I not been walking and talking with Him daily, I would not have survived.  I know that to be true!  I still struggle with it some days even now but as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I can overcome those struggles and move forward in the Lord.

God does not want us to rely on ourselves.  He wants us to rely on Him.  He wants us to hand it all over to Him.

“Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:9 (NIV)

I did not have the strength for what was ahead but God did and it was His strength that I relied on every day.  It was His strength that renewed me each day!

When I spent almost two weeks in the hospital with my daddy watching him die a little every day, I would go to the meditation room every morning and pray for God to renew my strength so that I could go back in my daddy’s room and be what he needed me to be.  The only time I left him would be to go pray.  To go be renewed.  To go put it all in the hands of God.  And when it was time for my daddy to go home to be with the Lord, I continued to rely on God to help me through the days that were to come.  To help me through the nights I couldn’t sleep thinking of all the loss.  Most days I still couldn’t believe my daddy was gone.  See, after I lost my boyfriend of eleven years and then three months later my mom to cancer, I thought my daddy was going to be my miracle.  I thought my daddy was going to beat his cancer.  I didn’t think that I would lose him too.  I kept thinking that it would be just too much.  I kept thinking it would break me but it didn’t.

It was too much for me to handle but it was not too much for my God to handle!

I know when you are going through the storm, it is hard to see how you will ever get through it.  There is only one way and that is with God.  Rely on Him to carry you through.  Rely on Him to be your strength.  Remember that He is a big God and He can handle whatever it is you are going through.  He is a good God and even though you can’t see it now, He will bring good from what you are going through.  It will become your greatest testimony! You will be able to honor God in a whole new way that will bring others closer to Him.  The first step is knowing that you can’t handle it on your own but God can.  He will meet you in the middle of the mess and the pain. He will carry you through and use it for good!