This week I decided to try working out again. I tried a few weeks ago and it ended very badly with swollen bruised feet after one workout. If you follow me at all on social media you know that I had surgery on both my feet in March. This came after doing everything under the sun I could to help my feet. I had neuromas in both feet so my doctor went in through the top and cut them out which means taking out part of a nerve in each foot as well. Feels about as pleasant as it sounds!
Recovery has not been an easy thing either. I am now struggling with the worse case of scar tissue he has ever seen so I am still not back to running. Another thing you would know about me if you follow me is that I run. Not just around the block. I mean miles and miles. In about a year and a half I ran 4 half marathons and 1 full marathon on top of a bunch of 5Ks, 10Ks, and 15Ks.
My plan was to run 12 half marathons in 12 months for 2019 and you’ve probably guessed that has not happened for me. I was able to run a half in January and a 15k in February and then the pain I had been experiencing for over a year was just too much to handle so I had the surgery. This has not been good for me physically or emotionally. I’ve gained weight because I was used to eating like I ran 25-30 miles a week which I can’t do now! You’d think I would’ve cut back but I didn’t. Running also gave me great clarity. It always brought me to a place of peace where the Holy Spirit and I met to talk through things as the miles stretched on and on. There have been so many moments out in the streets where I could feel the prompting of the Lord. I know I don’t have to be running to feel His presence or to hear Him but it literally became my war room and I’ve missed it terribly.
Well, I still can’t run but this week I started back working out at home in my living room with the 21-day Fix videos on Beachbody on Demand. Over two years ago I lost 45 pounds doing this workout along with my running. Now when I do the workout I have to do the modified version. My balance is not there like it used to be. My strength is not there like it used to be. I feel awkward and weak as I do the workout. I don’t know why but I expected to pick up where I left off. I know that was dumb of me!
Today during the workout Autumn, she is the designer of 21-day Fix, said we should have some patience and grace with our bodies and our workouts.
PATIENCE AND GRACE
I couldn’t stop thinking about those two words. We will often times extend patience and grace to everyone around us but not to ourselves. Most people, myself included, are much harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. I was literally so frustrated with myself that the workout was this hard for me. I couldn’t believe I had let myself get so far gone from where I once was physically. The more I thought about it I couldn’t believe I had let myself get so far gone emotionally and spiritually as well. Yes, I have been through so much and not just with my feet but still, I have been angry with myself that I had let my circumstances have so much control on my daily life.
Then I thought about those two words again. PATIENCE AND GRACE. Doesn’t our Heavenly Father extend those very things to us every single day? Psalm 103:8 tell us,
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
We should imitate God’s patience and be “slow to anger” even with ourselves. (James 1:19) I’m an elementary school librarian and I have so much patience when it comes to my little ones but then when it comes to myself, I have a big fat zero in the patience department. Anyone else that way? Ephesians 4:2 tells us,
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
On top of being patient, our Lord freely gives us grace. By His grace, we are saved. (Ephesians 2:8) By His grace, we are forgiven. (Ephesians 1:7) By His grace, we have everything we need. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
We are all so undeserving but God still extends us His patience and grace. So when you get mad at yourself that you can’t seem to get it together, or you feel out of balance, remember to extend yourself some patience and grace. I’m not saying to stay down by any means. I’m not saying it is not going to be hard to get back and get back to life because it is going to be very hard! I’m just saying to be patient with yourself and extend yourself some grace while you do it!
I didn’t lose that 45 pounds the first time overnight and I won’t lose the 20 I need to lose overnight this time either. But if I get up every single day and give it my best shot knowing that there will be days that I will fail, I will reach my goal. I will get back that physical fitness I once had.
If I get up every day and spend time in the Word of God, spend time walking and talking with Him, I will grow in my spiritual walk again. There will be lots of days where the enemy will try and keep me from doing it and honestly there will be days I will fail but I know that my God will always pick me back up, dust me off, and set me back on the right course because of the patience and grace He has with me.
Today as I walked my dog, I thanked Him for His patience, His mercy, and His grace. I prayed for the right words to flow today as I sat down to write. I prayed that the people who needed this reminder of God’s patience and grace would be the very ones reading this right now. I prayed for you dear friend! That you would truly know Him and the love He has for you! That you would extend the same patience and grace not only to all those you meet but to yourself as well!
I challenge you to write those two words somewhere you will see it every day so that you are reminded of God’s amazing patience and grace!
Blessings,
