Do you ever have days where you are emotionally exhausted?  Days where you just don’t know what to pray?  Days where you want to hear God so loudly that you cannot deny what He is saying to you but all you hear is static?

Then there are those days when I feel like I’m Gideon. Only I want to keep throwing that fleece out there asking for a sign (Judges 6:36-40) when really I just need to trust in what God is doing and what He’s already put on my heart.

I have to remind myself not to be moved by exhausted emotions because I can’t really trust how I feel about things. I have to remind myself that it may look like nothing is happening but in the silence, He is working on my behalf. I have to continue to trust in Him knowing He will give me rest.

I like to get out there on my favorite stretch of road as soon as I get home from school but yesterday I had to wait for the cable guy to fix my internet and cable first.  He was putting me behind schedule and I began to feel antsy.  As soon as he walked out the door, I turned on my music and the running app that I recently started using 3 times a week and I hit the pavement.  I needed to run to clear my mind and then I needed to walk so I could talk with God. By the time my run was over, I felt like the static had cleared.  I felt the first peace and calmness of the day.  When my spirit was finally still, I heard the same two words that stay on repeat in my head and heart,

“Patience and Perseverance”

As I walked back to my house I was reminded that I needed to P.U.S.H. on (Pray Until Something Happens)  This was so clear on my heart that I knew this was what God wanted me to know last night. I just need to keep praying with patience and perseverance until something happens.  God would reveal to me in His timing what that something would be.  It’s not for me to figure out or worry over. I know this is easier said than done and I will have to be reminded again I’m sure!  I’m so thankful that my God is patient with me.

I know that God isn’t preparing His plan for me, He is preparing me for His plan! I just need to “Let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:4)  While God is working, I need to be patient.

He has so much to teach me in the waiting.

In the waiting, He is building my faith and my character. In the waiting, He is building my dependence on Him and seeing how well I will trust Him.  It is in the waiting that He is aligning my desires with the ones He has for me.  This season of waiting shouldn’t be rushed.  I don’t want to stumble on any of the steps.  I want to be prepared for what is ahead.  I tend to get impatient and overwhelmed in the waiting which causes me to miss some steps.  I know He will finish what He has started but I have to be willing to wait.  I have to be willing to take the time for every single step on this walk He has me on in order to get where He wants me to go!

This morning I woke up with renewed strength and a feeling of expectancy.  As I was praying in my car on the way to work I thanked Him for the rest He provided me and I thanked Him for renewing my strength. I realized at that moment that sometimes the silence and the not knowing what is happening in my circumstances is to shield me from unnecessary hurt and I thanked Him for that too!  God knows what is best for us and He holds us in the palm of His hand.