When you are still, you will hear God speak to you. I am amazed and thankful how much He speaks to me daily especially in the very beginning of my storm. My neighbor told me that we are all either about to go through a storm, or we are in the middle of the storm, or we are just getting out of a storm. I believe some of the most important lessons are taught during the middle. In the middle is where God spoke to me the most.
I get asked all the time, “How far do you walk?” In the beginning, I walked 3 miles every day. On the weekends I walked these same 3 miles twice a day. I just had that much to talk over with God and the weekends were (and sometimes still are) the hardest because I had more time on my hands to dwell on things. I haven’t had much free time in my life and now I have too much. I couldn’t believe that this particular storm in my life was going to take place when I had all the time in the world to dwell on it. Why couldn’t it happen during the last 4 years when I was so busy I could hardly breathe?? It would’ve been so much easier to not dwell on it, to get over things quicker, and push them to the back of my mind and pretend they didn’t exist. I’ve learned God’s timing is always perfect and I believe it’s even perfect in the timing of our storms. I needed time to go through this storm, this waiting period so that God could teach me all He had to teach me. Even now I am not through it, but I’m already better because of it!
During the very first week of my walking and talking with God I went live on Facebook for the first time ever. I wrestled with God about doing it (of course) for half my walk. He was telling me someone else needed to hear what I was going through. I soooo didn’t want to do that. I had no idea what to say and I was just beginning on this journey. I had no answers yet for myself. How was I going to be a light for anyone else? Looking back now I realize it was much more than the fact someone else needed to hear it. I had been praying for confidence and boldness because I had turned into someone who constantly yielded. After I posted that video, there was a new confidence and boldness about me. It was exactly what I needed and at the time I didn’t even know it. The funny thing is I should’ve listened to my own video after I posted it because I said some things that I wished I would’ve taken more to heart much sooner than I did. It would’ve saved me a lot of tears and heartache but again it’s all been part of God’s plan from the start.
Another thing happened after I posted that video. My phone blew up!!! I mean something fierce! I had facebook messages, texts, and phones calls. People telling me to call them. People who just text to say they were praying for me so hard. Although I did get thanked a lot for posting this video, I think it worried more people than it encouraged and that was not the intention at all. I felt very blessed to have so many people care and reach out to me. Some I hadn’t talked to in a very long time. It was uplifting and encouraging and as I look back on it, part of God’s plan. Some people I just thanked and a few I let in on the details. I truly believe this is not about the details but about what God is doing in my life and through my life. I knew it didn’t matter what brought me to this place. It only mattered that my God was going to carry me through and build in me something new. This was to be a story to glorify and honor HIM. This was to be a TESTimony to HIS goodness and grace and even in the beginning, I knew that.
This is not the best quality video and I shook and sniffled…..remember I had just been crying and talking with the Lord! But again when the Lord says to share, you share! What is the Lord telling you to share??? You never know how it will touch someone else’s life and what it will begin in your own!
